Hermione Granger

Founder of The Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare (S.P.E.W.)

"I can hardly breathe for laughing."

Petunia Dursley

Homemaker, Little Whinging

"Nasty, common podcast, if you ask me."

Fred and George Weasley

Founders of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

"We suggest listening to this podcast, unless you'd like us to clean out your ears for you."

Minerva McGonagall

Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

"Foolish girls! How could you think of tackling a full grown podcast on your own?"

Ludo Bagman

Former Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports at the Ministry of Magic

"I bet you 500 Galleons that this podcast is good. Or bad."

Luna Lovegood

Freelance Correspondent at The Quibbler

"I don't think they're weird. They're just as sane as I am!"