It’s Christmas at the Burrow, and everyone is celebrating (except the poor garden gnome being held hostage on the top of the tree). The Weasley family listens to Celestina Warbeck’s marvelous tunes, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, and Harry takes the opportunity to catch up with his buddy Arthur and wise old Professor Lupin, whom… Read more
Slughorn’s Christmas party has everything we could ever ask for, from a real vampire (though sadly, it’s not Rufus Scrimgeour), to a Weird Sisters sighting. Harry spends the night dodging all his least favorite people, and the Queen Slug stoops to astonishing lows when she invites the King Slug to be her date. It’s a… Read more
Awkward teenage romance features heavily in this chapter, which clearly served as the main inspiration for the makers of the sixth movie. Ron’s insecurities both on and off the Quidditch pitch lead to some very unfair and frustrating interactions with Hermione (though it was pretty awful that she probably/might have/could plausibly have snogged Krum two… Read more
In Dumbledore’s office, we dive deep into the Pensieve, a storytelling device that gets more and more convenient each week. Thankfully, Phineas is no longer there to give his commentary! We hear from old Caractacus Burke, see Jude Law drink gin, and even catch a glimpse of one (possibly two) components of the homicidal triad…. Read more
It’s time for another Hogsmeade trip, but unfortunately for all of us, it’s just not as exciting as it used to be. Zonko’s is all boarded up, the weather is freezing, and Tonks/Eeyore is lurking on every corner. But, ooh, at least they have extra-large sugar quills! While “nothing” is in the back getting more… Read more
The time is ripe for this chapter discussion, or at least, riper than it was for Humphrey Belcher’s cheese cauldron. Harry finds himself in Bob Ogden’s memory (though thankfully not in his outfit), Dumbledore is as enigmatic as ever about his hand injury, and Alice and Martha rediscover their true identities: the Half-Blood Pince and… Read more
Harry, Ron, and Hermione enjoy their first few days back in classes such as Runes and Defense, though they continue to feel guilty about dropping Care. Snape tries his hand at interior decorating, and Slughorn discovers that Harry has indeed inherited his mother’s talent for Potions. Alice and Martha are thrilled to discuss the titular chapter… Read more
Does the Hogwarts Express have a conductor? Is Episkey or Tergeo more useful? Is Tonks’s new Patronus a wolf, a werewolf, or an Alfonso werewolf? And what is the difference between chocolate gateau and chocolate cake? Alice and Martha are back to answer the most important questions of the book thus far. Plus, Nearly Headless Nick digs for hot gossip… Read more
The gang makes their way back to Hogwarts, though Harry may have to make a trip back to London first (no spoilers!). Romilda Vane makes her first appearance, Ron continues to practice out rude hand gestures, and The Slug Club assembles for the first time, at the invitation of Professor H.E.F Slughorn. Please consider supporting… Read more
Alice and Martha find just about everything hilarious in this episode, from Arkie Philpott and the Probity Probe to the reappearance of Tom the Bartender. The trio, accompanied by baby Ginny and her parents, is met by security expert Hagrid, who (surprisingly!) fails to protect them from Draco’s sick burns. Fred and George rub their success… Read more
