Snape reveals himself as a master of sass when he makes a surprise visit to Grimmauld Place. Harry reluctantly parts with Sirius, and Lupin and Tonks enjoy their first date as group chaperones on the Knight Bus. Harry’s unhappy return to Hogwarts is made worse with his first session of Remedial Potions (Good Lord, he must be… Read more
Harry wallows in the wake of the Extendable Ears fiasco (this is exactly why Phineas Nigellus loathed being a teacher!) and comes up with some interesting theories about how exactly he might have attacked Mr. Weasley. Everyone forgets that Ginny almost died as a first year, and Hermione gives up a really good skiing trip in order… Read more
In one of the most suspenseful chapters of the series so far, Mr. Weasley’s life hangs in the balance as Harry struggles to convey just how serious the situation is (do they not realize how much a person bleeds when fangs that long pierce their side?). It’s a strange situation when Sirius behaves more maturely than… Read more
Umbridge stoops to new lows in order to take down our biggest friend–but we know what she’s doing, that foul, lying, twisting old gargoyle! Thanks to an extra special meeting of the Defense Association, Cho has A VERY HARRY CHRISTMAS! Unfortunately, Harry doesn’t have too long to bask in the glow of his first kiss, as… Read more
Hagrid is back, and he recounts his tale (or is it his tail?) of his time with the giants for the three nosiest kids at Hogwarts. Harry, Ron, and Hermione learn conflicting information about Gurgs, gain new respect for Olympe (she’s not afraid of roughin’ it), and continue to question exactly how Hagrid got his disturbing… Read more
Memories of two jam-packed weeks of D.A. meetings are enough to buoy Harry’s spirits, but only for so long. Malfoy tries his hand at song lyrics, Harry and George give an exhibition of Muggle dueling, and Educational Decree Number Twenty-five has devastating consequences for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. But we can think of one thing that might cheer… Read more
Harry gets irrationally defensive of Sirius, Angelina still can’t stop talking about Quidditch, and Fred and George suffer from some massive pus-filled boils (which might have ruptured). The D.A. (also known as the Ministry of Magic Are Morons Group) holds its first official meeting, which means that Harry finally gets to practice his already excellent teaching skills in… Read more
Alice and Martha find themselves wholeheartedly agreeing with Lav-Lav about Hedwig, Harry, Ron, and Neville get in trouble for “fighting,” and Angelina can’t stop obsessing about Quidditch. Meanwhile, Snuffles is back on speaking terms with Harry, and Umbridge is getting her stubby hands in the middle of everything (literally and figuratively). We hope this episode will be… Read more
Hermione gathers approximately 25 of her best friends for an informational meeting at the Hog’s Head, even though the Three Broomsticks probably would have been a safer bet (she’s got a LOT to learn). Fred and George order everyone butterbeers, and then weasel out of paying for them. And Harry finally has the opportunity to execute some of the… Read more
Strong females dominate this chapter, as Queens McGonagall and Grubbly-Plank take on the newly appointed Hogwarts High Inquisitor and Hermione comes up with the idea of forming the D.A.! Harry, on the other hand, struggles to keep his temper under control and receives a D on his potions homework (information he would rather keep private)…. Read more
