Ministry of Magic security protocols turn out to be alarmingly cavalier as Dumbledore’s Army begins its rescue mission. Not a soul is in sight as the group encounters the tank of brains, the Benjamin Button (well, not really Benjamin Button) Bell Jar, and the infamous veil for the first time. It’s not all fun and games, though, as the… Read more
Finally, Umbridge gets her comeuppance as Hermy executes her “smart plan… really smart plan” and tries to use the centaurs to do her bidding. After a scuffle with Ronan, Bane, Magorian, and a “hard-faced gray centaur,” Harry’s impatience reaches new levels. After much debate, Luna saves the day and comes up with a plan to fly to the Ministry… Read more
In this frantic chapter, Harry desperately tries to convince a skeptical Hermione that he doesn’t have a “saving-people-thing.” Ron attempts to fool Umbridge with a not-so-convincing lie about Peeves, while Ginny is a little more successful in tricking their fellow students into believing someone has let off dangerous (possibly fatal??) magical gas in the corridor…. Read more
Oh my goodness, is that them? Is that the examiners?? Professors Tofty (or is it Toffee?) and Marchbanks have arrived, and when it comes to O.W.L.s (more commonly known as owls) it’s not really what you know, it’s who you know. From Ernie averaging eight hours of studying a day to Hermione forgetting the definition of ehwaz, everyone is going to be glad when exams are finally… Read more
In Hagrid’s Tale, Part 2, we finally get the answer to the most important mystery of the book…what Hagrid has been doing and why he has been so beaten up all this time! Harry and Hermy have the pleasure of meeting Grawp, who definitely DOESN’T pick Hermione up or wave her around in the air. Luckily, the ruddy stargazers… Read more
Now that Harry’s got the basics of Occlumency down, Snape figures he can just carry on on his own with his studies. However, he’s so down about Cho (it definitely couldn’t be anything else) that he’s having trouble enjoying the Easter holidays. When Ginny hatches a dangerous plan, Fred and George are willing to risk… Read more
With Umbridge as the new Head of Hogwarts, Fred and George take their troublemaking to the next level. A kitten plate saves Harry from divulging important information, though isn’t that the point of the Fidelius Charm? Voldemort begins laying the groundwork for luring Harry to the Ministry (we think?) and Malfoy finds out that Harry has been taking… Read more
With Firenze now at the helm of the Divination class, we have a lot of questions. Why are Lavender and Parvati so attracted to their new professor? Has teaching always been Firenze’s dream? And where exactly do centaurs come from? We also spend plenty of time mourning the end of the D.A., celebrating Dobby’s bravery, and… Read more
While Ron continues to fail miserably at Quidditch, Harry continues to fail miserably at Occlumency, maybe because his visions make him feel special…important? However, it’s not all doom and gloom this chapter. Believe it or not, Harry’s interview with Rita sends the Quibbler to reprint faster than any previous issue, even those about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks! And Trelawney’s sacking… Read more
Several disturbing news stories shake the wizarding community, and Hermione sees the chance for an opening for Harry to regain some credibility. Harry goes on a disastrous date with the Human Hosepipe. And finally, Rita Skeeter makes her triumphant return as Hermione’s unlikely drinking mate. We may not love the title of this chapter, but… Read more
